Stop Hitting Yourself!

by visno on 24 September 2013

Main Deck (60 cards)

Sideboard (15 cards)

Creatures (5)

Instants (4)


Enchantments (4)


Land (2)

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Deck Description

Stop Hitting Yourself! Stop Hitting Yourself!

You don't need to attack to infuriate your friends with this deck, just let his own creatures do the work for you!

Nothing complex in here, this one is pretty straightforward guys. Unconventional, but straightforward.

How to Play

Much like my Mana Tax deck, all you need to do with this deck is just sit back and watch your opponent die.

Use Goblin Diplomats, Lust for War, and Nettling Curse to force your opponent to attack you (and slowly kill themselves in the process) and defend yourself with Wall of Souls and Souls of the Faultless, reflecting the damage back onto them (killing them some more).

Opponent won't attack? Insubordination will help persuade them to.
Still won't attack? Cast Stab Wounds and let them bleed out.

Use Backlash and Delirium to make your opponent smack themselves in the face with their larger creatures.

Your opponent has no creatures to betray him? No big deal, slip him a Sleeper Agent. Maybe cast Stab Wound on it too to make him extra annoying.

Included sideboard cards in case you find yourself doing battle with another unconventional deck.

And as it is with Mana Tax, part of how to play this deck is to act as obnoxious as possible and taunt your opponent. "stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself lolololololol"

If you liked this deck, be sure to check out my other decks:
Galileo Figaro Magnifico: A Queen Themed Deck
http://www.mtgvault.com/visno/decks/galileo-figaro-magnifico/
Necrotizing Fasciitis: Don't Google Me
http://www.mtgvault.com/visno/decks/necrotizing-fasciitis/
Mana Tax: How To Annoy Anyone
http://www.mtgvault.com/visno/decks/mana-tax-how-to-annoy-anyone/
Presto-Change-O!: The story of of an Eldrazi...
http://www.mtgvault.com/visno/decks/prestochangeo/

Deck Tags

  • Unconventional
  • Redirect
  • Defender
  • Annoying
  • Annoying

Deck at a Glance

Social Stats

79
Likes

This deck has been viewed 10,261 times.

Mana Curve

Mana Symbol Occurrence

4042150

Card Legality

  • Not Legal in Standard
  • Not Legal in Modern
  • Legal in Vintage
  • Legal in Legacy

Deck discussion for Stop Hitting Yourself!

Simulacrum would be a fun addition to this.

1
Posted 25 September 2013 at 05:41

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I've got a really similar deck with the exact same name (!) kicking about:

http://www.mtgvault.com/strategicmuffinexhausted/decks/stopping-hitting-yourself-20/

plenty of ideas in there. Definitely look into Boros Reckoner, Pariah, High Priest of Penance, and Pariah.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 06:15

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instead of soul bleed have curse of the pierced heart. other than that great deck idea!

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 08:56

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Too few creatures and too many cards like Insubordination. I am also not sure if the Souls of the Faultless are worth the trouble of splashing white. I would cut the white wall and at least 4 of your creature enchantments and add a mix of Mogg Maniac, Spitemare and Boros Reckoner. This would also give you some more winconditions in the case the opponent refuses to play creatures (Sleeper Agent is cute, but you have only 4 of them). AND you don't have to give up if the opponent plays creatures with shroud, hexproof.

In my Delirium/Backlash deck I made some good experiences with Meekstone. This deck has even more reasons to play them - at least the current version. Meekstone would not go that well with Spitemare and Reckoner of course.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 10:30

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Boros Reckoner maybe?

2
Posted 25 September 2013 at 14:57

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possibly. still debating if i like the splash of white in there. i may substitute boros for souls of the faultless

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 17:07

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you dont need to splash in white mana. just use red mana to cast him

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 21:22

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no no I meant the deck already has a splash of white. I may take it out and use boros instead of keep the white in

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Posted 26 September 2013 at 05:18

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you should take out the 3 souls and put in a Thrashing Wompus and a Curse of Bloodletting, great combo there, plus with the other curses it will bleed them dry pretty quick. Just hope someone doesn't pull out a Purify lol

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Posted 01 October 2013 at 19:46

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No mercy if any get through and exquisite blood and blood reckoning is the same as hissing miasma.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 16:02

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its ok if they get through. the curses you place on your enemies' creatures need to be at LEAST 3 power to even break even when he swings, which typically is enough to protect you early game. as the game goes on you can always double or even triple curse his creatures.

and blood reckoning costs 4 mana. hissing miasma costs 3, and since the deck is mostly black, having 2 black in the mana cost for 3 is ok. i'll look into exquisite blood though. im still debating if i want to keep the white splashed in there, that may make a good substitute.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 17:07

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u deck is almost the same as mine. Also u should add the red curse enchantment. forces attacks on u.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 18:25

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thats what goblin diplomats are for. that way you can control when your opponent is forced to attack you and they double as attackers for when your opponent has nothing.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 19:56

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yes, but they are prone to removal. So it's better if u run 2-4 curses, and drop the creatures to add some removal into your deck in case they drop some big turn 4 creature.

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Posted 26 September 2013 at 00:31

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if my opponent drops a larger creature just throw more curses on it. and whatever he hits you with you're gonna reflect that damage right back into him when you block anyway. stab wound also helps weaken larger enemies, and you can also use your instants to just make him smack himself in the face before the attack phase

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Posted 26 September 2013 at 05:21

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vampiric link that is all

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 20:14

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im up in the air about it. it would be a good addition but im not quite sure what i'd take out yet...

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Posted 27 September 2013 at 03:03

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Kinda odd having isolated chapel in there with no shock lands and only a handful of basic swamps. maybe ass some shock lands? or take out the chapel and add the new scry lands from theros. Also since you rely on your enemy to attack you maybe add Curse of the Nightly hunt are two more goblin diplomats since you are only running 2.

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Posted 25 September 2013 at 21:23

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i havent looked into the new scry lands yet. but if you draw some sample hands you'll see that you come across swamps fairly often, it just sounds like there aren't that many. and i dont really want to have my opponent have to attack every turn with all creatures, only the ones that i choose (lust for war, nettling curse) lest i overwhelm myself.

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Posted 26 September 2013 at 04:44

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What about Sinister Possession?
it's only one mana...

0
Posted 25 September 2013 at 23:05

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used contaminated bond instead. its only 2 mana and does 3 damage instead of 2.

1
Posted 26 September 2013 at 00:02

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okay, sounds good

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Posted 26 September 2013 at 00:19

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This deck's name and premise just made me burst out laughing. You made my day, thank you! XD

1
Posted 27 September 2013 at 19:16

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Get rid of the white splash, souls isn't worth it here. Go with a few more creatures and force your opponent into blocking you or take greater damage.

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Posted 29 September 2013 at 13:19

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Hey, I love this deck, its pretty entertaining XD
could you check out my elemental deck and give some tips??
http://www.mtgvault.com/greenee/decks/the-elements-are-tainted/

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Posted 22 October 2013 at 03:54

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I haven't read all of the comments of the above so I'm sorry if this has already been said. I love the deck. I feel like you should be able to get rid of the white element to it. It seems like it would be so difficult to get to come up. Why not replace your Souls of the Faultless and replace it with something else. Off the top of my head, I can think of Contaminated Ground. Not only does it play into your theme but it prevents them from getting the kind of mana the opponent wants.

1
Posted 18 April 2014 at 02:24

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draw a few sample hands, you only need 1 white mana, and you'll be surprised how often you'll have it within the first couple turns (if it isnt already in your hand from the draw). i dont want to use contaminated ground because then the deck will become too similar (and a watered down version) of my other deck, Mana Tax, which accomplishes what you're describing much better and more efficiently than this deck could.

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Posted 21 April 2014 at 22:06

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Okay, I did your sample hand test and got a white mana on 9/10 hands. I guess my counter to that is that you have chosen 6 lands for 1 card (Souls of the Faultless x 3). Just not sure it is worth it. I understand how it fits into your deck. I just feel like there has got to be an equally good card in red or black so that you don't have to have those land to begin with... I'm sure it works well. Just throwing out ideas.

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Posted 24 April 2014 at 01:08

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Exquisite Blood would be a good replacement.

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Posted 24 April 2014 at 03:51

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How does this deck fair multiplayer games is more a one one one deck

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Posted 24 April 2014 at 22:15

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it does better in 1v1 but it still can hold up in multiplayer decently.

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Posted 25 April 2014 at 07:19

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added Xantcha, Sleeper Agent, and retuned some numbers and lands.

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Posted 09 May 2022 at 22:24

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