No amonkhet gods?
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you could include budget mana rocks like mind stone and thought vessel instead of the rocks that gain you one life to improve your ramp consistency. I also recommend necropolis regent and also a large number of sac outlets like altar of dimmentia and ashnod's altar to get benefit from a board wipe.
For me personally, I liked playing a more inclusive vampire tribal build. I played the deck much more casually and I ran a Black mana coffers engine as well with urborg, nirkana revanent, nykthos, Coffers, and Liliana of the dark realms and exsanguinate as an alternate win condition. This worked out just fine for me but I am more of a casual player when it comes to builds like this as I find enjoyment out of playing my favorite cards over competitive options.
A good Commander could also be Olivia Voldaren if you are willing to make the deck part red. The red vampires are also good at rushing an opponent and forcing removal on themselves rather than your main win conditions.